If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
