Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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