Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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