i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
