So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think i got beer on your cat.
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