I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
