There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
