omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
