he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
