JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
