I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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