Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
