One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
