so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
