I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish i was in the wii world.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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