the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We are two peas in an std pod
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
