I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
