I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
