he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
