Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
