Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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