rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
