Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to sanitize my soul.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
