When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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