I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
