The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
