two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
