My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
