you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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