I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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