I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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