i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There's always time for handjobs
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
