hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
