the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
