Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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