Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He better not be in your backpack
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
