So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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