I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
