no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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