I think my fart just growled at me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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