Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
