Say something about gay babies.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
