We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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