i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
