I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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