I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
