if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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