Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
