the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
