it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
