Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
